blog 10
31 Mar 2011 4 Comments
Lately my blogs have followed one pattern and that pattern being experiments, but after this weeks readings I decided to get a little more personal. Let’s begin with I already know I’m going to hear I’m so sorry from people and I appreciate it, but after 7 years of I’m so sorry. I just want someone to listen to me. So, here it goes. I was 13 living with my mom, sister, and stepdad. My mom worked days and my step dad worked seconds so he took us to school. My sister was staying home (at grandmas) from school that day sick. So, I got up and got ready as usual for school. We had two vehicles. (One a beat up work van and the other a brand new sports car) I’m ashamed to say this, but I was so into myself that I had to ride in the sports car because the van was embarrassing. My mom had taken the sports car to work that day leaving us to take the beat up work van. Some days my step dad would stop by my mom’s work (which was two minutes away) and trade cars so he could use the sports car for the day. This day was warm outside so I knew all of my friends would be standing outside of the school, so I begged my step dad to please take me to trade vehicles. This is where things begin to get difficult for me to continue typing. I still remember the sounds and smells. I heard the washer running and could smell the fresh air outside because the window was open. I was standing in the kitchen begging him to trade cars when he said to me if you let me touch your breasts I’ll give you anything you want. I remember pausing then laughing thinking he was joking. Still in shock my step dad would even joke about this. I began to say I’d rather walk to school and went to walk away as he grabbed my arm forcefully. I won’t continue because I’m sure most of you know where it leads to. After the incident he didn’t trade cars, but I didn’t care. I felt so numb that the day of school felt like a blur. I went into the girl’s bathroom and curled up crying and sitting next to my own vomit. My best friend found me and all I said was I didn’t feel good. I was sent home that day. My grandma came to pick me up. My grandma knew something more was wrong with me when I couldn’t even look her in the face. She badgered until I told her. As I told her I watched her fall to the ground crying. She called my mom who left work. In the end he went to jail, and my mom chose him over me. So, after that day I lived with my grandparents from then on out.
blog 9
23 Mar 2011 2 Comments
Let’s keep on the roll of hey, I like taking matters into my own hands and trying things out. So experiment number three. I gave my boyfriend a break and decided to use my roommate. She is struggling to pay for her schooling even after financial aid. I won’t give her name as part of our agreement J.
So, here goes our first question,
- “What would you do for a job to help for college?”
Answer: “Anything I have to do, I really want to become a kindergarten teacher.”
- Would you strip for money?
Answer: No, because I have a boyfriend, but if I didn’t have a boyfriend I’d consider it.
- Wouldn’t you think it would be frowned upon wanting to become a teacher and being a stripper?
Answer: Yes, but I have to have an education. I work now at a local restaurant, but still can’t pay for school. Its hard enough as it is. I just want to finish school and do something better with my life, and how can I do that if I can’t even pay?
- Do you think most college students consider stripping, especially in Fort Wayne?
Answer: Yes, young girls do I think. I know several in my classes who have said they know of strippers and how much cash strippers have. It’s a lot of pressure to be something and have things.
After this experiment, I started thinking to myself would I ever do this? It’s against my religion, I have a boyfriend, but honestly I could use the money and I like feeling sexy. But are these things worth it? To me they aren’t, but to some girls they are.
blog 8
23 Mar 2011 1 Comment
Let’s begin with my place isn’t to pick up after you! After last week’s blog I actually wanted to try another experiment. So, I decided I would do the cooking and see how much of the cleaning I could muster out of my boyfriend. So instead of our usual date night or movie night, it became try anything and everything I slave to cook for you and then you pick up the mess I make. Since, I pick up after you each day, every day! So, I made foods he loved knowing that it would make him happy. The first evening I made homemade lasagna (all fresh vegetables), and homemade oatmeal raisin cookies (his favorite) and after we finished eating I said,” Kody. I’ve had a long day do you think you could do the cleaning tonight.” The expression on his face was like I just dropped a bomb on our house. He came up with a few different excuses. First, was but March Madness. Second, was well you can just do the cleaning tomorrow Alex. Then came the third excuse cleaning isn’t a man’s job. That’s what set me over the edge. So, I made sure he knew I was angry. I slammed every pot, sighed when I wiped things down, and acted like he didn’t exist. That night we didn’t speak. The next day I did my usual routine. Got up, got ready, went to class, and then came back to the apartments and worked out. I decided to give Kody one more chance at cleaning. So, that night I made another homemade dinner, and at the end of the dinner he offered to clean up. All I could say to him was, I love you but the fact I had to throw a fit for you to wash a dish makes me infuriated. He smiled and said from now on there will be no you cleaning there will be us cleaning.
blog 7
02 Mar 2011 3 Comments
Juliet:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet.”
This quote was written by William Shakespeare. It is one that made me think of the article written about taking her last name. Sadly, they have two different meanings, but really in terms of last name it’s just a name. People make a big deal about last names. So, I decided to do some research of my own and I asked my loving boyfriend if he would take my last name if I asked him to. His reply was no, I’m not suppose to. I asked what or who defines what your suppose to do. He replied he didn’t know who made that rule, but he knows that it wouldn’t look good if he did. This became a heated argument at this point (even though I don’t want him to take my last name) I began to get upset wanting to know why he couldn’t. I hate that people put such strain on things such as a name. If choosing to be a Mahan instead of a Stahl is that big of an issue why are we at war with other countries because really people in our own country make things difficult to be individuals? Didn’t we fight for freedom of speech and choice at one point? I guess that fight wasn’t worth anything because today a woman can’t ask her husband to change his last name instead of her changing hers.
blog 6
23 Feb 2011 3 Comments
After reading the articles, the first thought that came to my mind was the posters that were put up at IPFW last semester. An organization posted bulletins about abortion outside of the science building. A few weeks after the bulletins were posted someone actually vandalized the bulletins outside of the building. Later that week one of my friends started posting comments on Facebook about abortion. She would post statistics and pictures of abortion cases. Each week people were battling on her Facebook with comments. I knew the legalize abortion situation was a big controversy, but after reading comments on my friends Facebook it became clear it was a bigger controversy than I thought. Some of the statistics that I read were things such as four in ten pregnancies are terminated by abortion, from 1973- 2008 seventy-nine pregnancies were terminated in the United States, and eighteen percent of pregnancies that are terminated are done by teens between the age of sixteen to nineteen. I guess I’ve always been the person that has put myself in someone else’s shoes. I have come to realize that there are situations where abortion may be something that is what is necessary. Sometimes I go back and forth with what I think. I don’t want to post this to create a huge debate on my blog, but I have read stories about circumstances where abortion seemed to be the only answer. I know it’s murder. I have thought severely about this, but I also know that some people may or may not understand my opinion and I respect other people choices.
Blog 5
16 Feb 2011 1 Comment
While reading the articles this week something I thought of was a television show called Bridal Plasty. It’s what I call an EXTREME makeover.This show first aired on E. There were twelve brides total. It is a show where contestants, brides, compete for plastic surgery and their dream wedding. Each woman compiles a list of problems she has with her body features, and would like to have changed. They each compete in wedding style competitions. These competitions may consist of who wrote the best vows, picked the most stylish dress, or created the best looking bouquet. The bride who wins each competition gets to pick one surgery off of her list to have performed. Each time she wins she goes under the knife, and then is sent to a recovery room. Ultimately, the winning bride is her “ideal” image of a beautiful bride. This show really relates to the ideal self that most women have because of today’s society. Most of these women would state that if they create the ideal self everything in their lives would be better. This made me relate to the reading about how in China they change their height for personal work growth. It also made me think of the dove video. I think we paint the picture of a perfect bride, and this women try to be what they believe is “perfect.” Just like the woman in the billboard being fixed to be what society thinks as perfection. Each of these women endured pain for what they believe to be is beautiful. 
Blog 4
10 Feb 2011 2 Comments
Something I learned this week was about acceptance and degradation. These are two subjects I already had prior knowledge about, but they were reiterated in this week’s readings. I stated in some reflections that I have a gay best friend. I enjoyed the readings with the glossary and the reading on how homophobia hurts. Most people already know that gays are called names and most are afraid to come out because lack of acceptance. It really irritates me when people say society has changed and it’s easier for gays to come out. If it is so easy why do we still have so many living in fear and so many people calling them names for their sexual preference? I took the heterosexual questionnaire, and felt as if some questions wanted me to really personally think about my sexual preferences. If it is freedom of choice and speech and blah blah blah constitution stuff then why are we stifling their freedoms? I feel like each week we read about people trying to stop gay relationships. My best friend is gay and there is no difference to me what his choices are. I feel like the United States, is one of the most hypocritical environments. We proud ourselves on being accepting, yet we can’t accept some of our own population. Sometimes, I want to experiment and tell people I’m lesbian and for that time period put me in their shoes. What would be said about me? How different would people treat me? Would I still be cared for by the people close to me?
blog 3
04 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
Chapter 3 to me really stuck out as an offensive chapter. I felt like most of the reasoning behind arguments for sexual orientation was because someone decided that person exuded some characteristics of the opposite sex. It isn’t fair nor is it just to define what people think is the “right” sexual orientation. I felt offended because I myself have broad shoulders and I’m muscular. Sadly, my hair grows back ten times faster than most women. Does that mean they would question my gender? I like sports and I felt like the questioning of the runners gender was unfair to her. She earned the medals her own way, and if this is a free country why are we saying a man can’t vote? I love how a certain group of people define a sexual orientation. In my eyes I see it as probably some old lady that thinks some young man/ woman isn’t what she expects from most people so she pulls the gossip train saying that isn’t a man it’s a woman. Well, why do we all have to subject to what some people think? I agree there are five categories of sexual orientation, and personally I think I fit in more than one category. Are they going to tell me I can’t vote? Or perhaps take away my volleyball trophies because I’m not the normal female. So, why can we say what is normal and how can we judge what someone else is born with? Did the baby ask to be a hermaphrodite no, but they are all gods children so shouldn’t we treat them equal?
blog 2
27 Jan 2011 2 Comments
Thinking in relation to my life, I actually picked up an issue of the magazine Seventeen while at Wal-Mart. My roommate ritually reads Seventeen. I began to look closer at the cover and the articles in the magazine. I purchased it and later on asked my grandma what her opinion of the magazine was. She began to say how the magazine was inappropriate, and that women shouldn’t be reading this magazine especially women that are only seventeen. I further began to question why. She stated that what was written in the magazine was disgusting. I began to argue that most teens aren’t taught these issues in high school. I was brought in a separate room as the males in my class to b e taught about sex and menstruation. I personally feel the article about Seventeen and the word condom is stifling and controlling. If this is educational why do people want the column retracted? It’s not just this article that stifles education. After reading all the articles in this chapter I feel as though most people stifle not jus the education of, but the spread of feminism. It makes things harder to educate anyone on feminism when people want to silence things they don’t agree with. I grew up being taught everyone disagrees with something. We aren’t all the same. So, if we are all different then how come one group of people decides what should be published or spoken about? Most articles written talk about how few people know what a feminist is. Most people define feminists as lesbians. If we aren’t educated how can we define feminists? I think feminist/ feminism should have the right to educate and let people make their own decisions not the decision of the general public.
